Oh shit, look whos back!
Now. Can someone tell me what the FUCK is up with every goddamned movie these days boasting to be “3D”? Every single movie seems to use this goddamn shit these days, a technology thats been around for years!
But! Think of this.
The term 3D refers to 3 Dimensional, correct? A video game is 3D because you can rotate around environments, characters, etc, at whim and see every part of the person. Now. How the fuck do you do that in a movie? short answer, you don’t.
Movie studios tote the term “Shitty Ass Family Movie 3D” …..thats great and all, but can i pause the movie, rotate around the environment and look at everything else? Fuck no i can’t, nor do i want to (Except in the case of Goldeneye). So why the hell is the moniker 3d being used? I have a theory:
People are idiots.
People don’t get that wearing blue and red shades (or whatever they’re using now) does not produce a 3d effect, all cinema/tv 3d is, is quite simply bringing something from the background or foreground even further forward. Thats it. “oh shit my favourite character!” *puts on glasses* “its like she’s infront of me!”. No. Its not. You’re a fucking douchebag.
Now, i tend not to link to other sites, but Clint from Moviehole tends to agree, this 3d shit has to go. It went many years ago, and now its back, why? marketing ploy! Useless motherfuckers. I’m tired of this 3d shit. its aimed directly at trendfags like you, and you eat it up like its fuckin’ dinner. “The shits in 3d, it must be good!”.
Problem: 3D is old.
Solution: Bring on VR goggles for movies to follow the character yourself and choose what you want to see.
Now theres two types of 3D, filmed and post processing. Filmed is essentially filmed with 3d specific cameras, acceptable, its aimed at that, so be it, i still don’t support it. The other, is done after the film has wrapped up and its in post processing/post production, they add the layer on top. Dumb. As. Fuck.
Anyone of you lot that go out and see a movie because its “3D” should go die in a motherfuckin fire, though you might think its pretty with your glasses on. ….maybe i should redesign the site to be 3D, “The King of Kings 3D” ….yeah, that’d draw more attention. Fuckin idiots. Get over the 3D shit and make movies as they should be. If you need an example, go watch Boondock Saints and Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day, written and directed by the fuckin’ insanely talented Troy Duffy. Now they are how you make a movie.
Note: I recall saying no more additions to the Trendfags series….but….well….shits just so stupid these days, i can’t not. Expect more soon.