Here's a rant for you.

friends. most of us have them, unless of course you’re kip drordy, in which case you want them! So how do you tell a friend that they’ve overstepped their bounds? ‘what bounds?’ you say? here, I’ll give you an example. (By the way, I apologise for the lack of capital f’s, that key on my laptop is broken and I have to copy and paste it. finding a capital f is just waaay too much effort to keep changing )

friends who continuously tell you your partner is shit, and encourage you to leave them.
They can say all they like that they’re only looking out for you or because they care, but really do they care enough to respect your decisions and feelings? I cop this kind of bullshit fairly often, from friends on the internet who don’t even see things in person, to base these outbursts on. Just because you may act ignorant of some things online, or say things in humor that some find distasteful, does not mean you are exactly the same in person! people can act differently to different people, in front of different people and of course, in different circumstances. What you see, is not always what I get.
How about some respect, if not for them, for me. Who would know better than I do, what I’m getting myself into, or where i’m going with things? you can say that I can’t see the bigger picture, but thankyou, I can! the bigger picture is, I’m with someone I love and adore, he may do things that piss me off, but remember, he’s human! (apparently ) if you expect everyone to find an absolutely perfect partner, you’re an idiot. very rarely will you find someone who never does things you don’t like, who always does the right thing, bends over backwards for you and kisses your ass on all available occasions (well, those people can be easy to come by, but the catch is, they can usually be like that because you DON’T have feelings for them and they are trying to inspire them.)

The fact is, I know what I’m doing, I’m happy with him, and where I am, and nobody in the world is going to be able to convince me otherwise. It would be much appreciated if friends would not try to tell me he’s a deadbeat and a bum, not only is it none of their business, but it’s not how I feel about him, which is the main thing in this situation. I’ve had this guys child, i it wasn’t for him, my son and/or I would probably have been in bodybags long ago. I don’t have much family support, leaving him would be the death of me, please understand that, and i’m not trying to be dramatic here, he keeps me sane, he makes me feel loved and wanted, and above all else, if i left as you all say i should, i would miss him. I have not been happier than I am now, since the year my mother died. Those who have known me before and after that event, if they can recall my behaviors before and after, should be able to confirm this.

I did talk about leaving a bit while i was pregnant, when my hormones were all over the place, and I was pushed into the mindset of ‘think of the child’ I was told I was being selfish for staying because I love the guy, and that I was not thinking out for my son. Who cares what I feel, so long as he’s happy right? Wrong. How can a child be happy when his parents are not? who’s there to inspire that happiness if not for his parents? in my situation, I’d be all he had, and he would be all I had, there’s no happiness there. I was told I should go back to my fathers, he has a new family now, and I finally understand why he pushes my sister and I out, but draws the new lot closer. He’s lost before and he’s determined not to lose again. The loss of my mother kind of tore my family apart, so I suppose, why keep a hold of the broken pieces when you’ve a perfect happy picture to keep a hold of. if you understand what i’m saying there, you’ll see that going back there was not an option, I was told I could stay in his house, my childhood home, for a month or so at most, only before the baby is born.

and so, from these people telling me what I should do, I learnt that private life is best kept exactly that, private. I try my best to not talk to anybody about my private life online anymore, because that’s how these things come about, what have they got to tell me to keep away from, if I don’t give them any ammunition. I just want you to know, that not everything is as it was before, things have improved dramatically, and I’m even happier now, I’ve realised, finally, that there are things that make me unhappy, and that I shouldn’t focus on them, rather push them to the side, or out of my head because it’s true, life is short so ignore those self righteous motherfuckers.

So here’s a message to you, friends.
Stop overstepping your bounds. How about thinking about these points, before you try to convince me to leave him. Think about my feelings, seeing as you’re supposedly just trying to help me out. Just because you think a situation is bad, doesn’t mean it is, you don’t see how things actually go down in person and you’re assuming that I don’t know what I’m doing, and just with him for the ride. Now that’s an awesome vote of confidence! thanks!