The King of Kings

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What irritates me more than your mum:

Author: Missy, Date: January 7th, 2010, Posted In: Missy's Musings

people who don’t indicate when merging lanes. people who cut me off and then slow down. self-riteous and overly preachy religious people. mullets. malls. mini malls. alternative modern rock which is neither alternative or modern. consumerist whores. toorak tractors. toorak tractors with one small woman and no kids in them. movie directors who are more interested in special effects than plot. the idiot who decided that we should spend billions of dollars putting people in jail for nonviolent drug posession. people who ask me for money. being left stranded in the bathroom without toilet paper. people who talk on their mobile phones while in public restrooms. people who pee on the seat. car stereos you can hear from a mile away. people who borrow my car and bring it back with no fuel. preachy vegetarians/vegans. people who sneeze into their hand and then try to shake. mothers who let their children run rampant in a store. parents who let their children call them by their first names instead of Mum and Dad. swine flu. avian flu. fuck you flu. derryn hinch. that fortune dude who was picked for INXS and failed. pizza/pasta hut. shannon noll. john howard’s eyebrows. chum. tepid coffee. fruitflies. the cold virus. nagging. bad hair day. televised poker tournaments. overcooked pasta. stepping on dog poop. overpaid professional athletes. computer problems. dirt underneath fingernails. stain on my white coat. pollen. ill-fitting underwear that keeps riding up. chapped lips. waiting (for anything). clueless drivers. food particles lodged in-between teeth. hot sauce that is not really that hot. torn bookcovers. too many coins in my purse. limp fries. caffeine withdrawal headache. difficult crossword clue that eludes me. papercuts (especially when pouring lemon juice on it). paris hilton. unilateral headaches. lithicarb and its interactions with decent painkillers. neighbours (not the show). pop music. the way my ipod always ’shuffles’ in the same cycle. gutless wonders. bad grammar. anyone who ever hurt my sister. your family. religion.

Hah.

Author: Crowbar, Date: January 7th, 2010, Posted In: Crowbars Clusterfuckery

I’m still here and i still fucking hate you. Hooray!

Happy New Years

Author: Crowbar, Date: January 1st, 2010, Posted In: Rants From The Folks

Happy new years, from the entire King of Kings crew.

May you drive drunk and Gouranga a bunch of hare krishnas! (yeah, lets see who gets that reference)

Remember, if she’s only your cousin, its alright to bang her while drunk.

Christmas: The End

Author: Crowbar, Date: December 28th, 2009, Posted In: Crowbars Clusterfuckery

Thank fuck for that. Another year gone, no more christmas carols. Fucking christmas carols.

Christmas III: The Ultimate Trendfaggian Holiday.

Author: Crowbar, Date: December 13th, 2009, Posted In: Crowbars Clusterfuckery

My turn!

Christmas, a time for yuletide cheer and present and being merry to others and loving and ….what the fuck am i on about?

Christmas II: A Repose

Author: archaios, Date: December 11th, 2009, Posted In: archaios' posts

(Note: this post may be regarded as anathema to ~~some~~ most, due to my Christian worldview. Disregard as you will.)

No, I don’t post my thoughts often on this site, but I feel that I must interject here: Christmas, nominally Dec 25 (purportedly a date selected by early Christians to discourage the practice of Pagan tradition which occurred on this day), is supposed to be a religious celebration, i.e. that of the birth of the Christ, Jesus. That the “spirit of giving” is merely associated with Christmas should be rejected as a matter of policy; under Judaeo-Christian tradition, the practice of giving tithes to the Church which are then (at least in part and in theory) to be distributed to the poor, as but one example, is demonstrative of a fact that most are wont to recall: that giving to those in need is to be heralded as an act of great importance. However, the undue secular commercialisation of Christmas has led to the prime focus being taken from the Christian Messiah and His message to a trade in such gifts with price scalping by major corporations being a blatant and disturbing example of this trend, which has been occurring since the diminishment of the importance of religion in Western daily life (a topic for another post, perhaps… and if you don’t like it, simply don’t read my posts.) Moreover, the expectation that one will receive material goods is utterly stultifying: one should be giving to those in need, not simply members of one’s family, and expecting returns beyond gratitude is absurd. It is a sad fact that the vast majority of society simply does not reflect upon the poverty-stricken proletarians that live amongst the community, or for such a brief period that they may make a token donation to a charity or somesuch out of a sense of (well-justified) guilt. Those taking advantage of this annual celebration, which is most definitely not secular in origin, such that they may engender material returns should be ashamed of their wanton and gratuitous behaviour. To such a degree, I find agreement with the previous post by “Missy” and “Crowbar”; but I cannot, with a clear conscience, justify merely disregarding a celebration of the birth of whom I believe to be the Saviour of man. This time should be used for reflection, penitence, and for those who have not yet discovered the profundity of Christ’s message, perhaps questioning the nature of their beliefs.

Christmas: Get the fuck over it.

Author: Crowbar and Missy, Date: December 4th, 2009, Posted In: Missy's Musings

Bah, humbug.

Oh, yes, predictable – Missy is going to slag the holiday season. Too commercial, no real meaning, lost souls, yadda yadda yadda. Hell, I have never known Christmas without commerciality (crowbar: what the fuck? when did you become me?) – I was born in 1986, placing me firmly in the consumerist TV-centric mindset. I don’t care, I got my share of excessive presents when I was a kid, I have indulged myself as an adult (this year I will be buying myself a new phone, using “Christmas” as a excuse). But there is a lot about the season I hate

TKOK…we celebrate christmas too!

Author: Crowbar, Date: December 4th, 2009, Posted In: Crowbars Clusterfuckery

New rotating insults for your pleasure, and an updated header! ho ho ho! merry yourmother!

On Commuters:

Author: Missy, Date: November 20th, 2009, Posted In: Missy's Musings

Summer is here and the temperature is high. That would be great if I was at the beach, but I’m stuck in a crowded carriage with no airconditioning and all the seats taken, I’m wishing I was somewhere – anywhere! – else.

To keep my mind off the heat, I’ve turned my daily commute into a safari trip. It’s the cheapskate version of going wildlife-spotting by Jeep; it’s hot, you’re stuck in a vehicle and you don’t know what you might encounter but you hope it will be cute and not try to bite you.

Watching the wildlife is hard to do subtly. It’s embarrassing when you get caught looking, especially if you are trying to take a happy snap.

But with just a little practice, you can become quite an expert. Here’s a spotter’s guide to some of the exotic creatures on your daily commute.